F is for “feempf-nempfner”
When my husband was a silly pre-teen he and a buddy of his
got a kick out of a sign in front of a corner convenience store. Peanut butter
was on sale—but you’d almost never guess. The sign was constructed haphazardly with
cut-out letters. The person who put the sign together must have had a shortage
of letters but an overflow of determination. Whoever it was used whatever they
had in the stack to write the words “peanut butter.” But when my husband and
his friend tried to read it out loud, it read, ‘feempf-nempfner.”
When he told me this story while we were dating, he made
sure he used his geeky-voice to say “feempf-nempfner,” which made my side split
with laughter. I already had a crush on him, I admired his wit and charm, but
there was something about the sound of “feempf-nempfner” that threw me into
hysterics every time he said it. After twenty-six years of marriage, I still
make him feempf-nempfner sandwiches, feempf-nempfner and eggs, feempf-nempfner
on apples, and we laugh like we’re still dating.
When a side-kick in a novel has a gimmick, it helps endear
the character to the reader. I fell in love with Groot from Guardians of the
Galaxy. His one-line gimmick, saying only “I am Groot,” made him the favorite
in the bunch for me. So, when I revised my novel, looking for a way to make
some of the secondary characters stand out, I decided that my husband and Groot
would assist me in my endeavor.
Meet Kyle, a member of the Light Brigade—an albino Skyborn
friend of one of our main characters, who developed a speech impediment after a
wild boating accident when he was a child. He’s got spiky hair, wears
sunglasses, is handy with a laser lights, swords, orbs, and general magical
mayhem, but he can only say, “feempf-nempfner.” It doesn't stand for peanut
butter, but only those who read this blog will know the origins of Kyle’s lone
utterance.
Tomorrow…G is for Grimmer.
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